19th May 2020, 5:49 PM
Sever the flesh from the chains

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Sever the flesh from the chains
You have, in your limited experience handling actual swords, a pretty good sword.

...Unless it gives +5 to Anime Shit, though, you don't have the physical strength to slice through a chain with it.

You should be able to cut through skin with it, and if you slice through the flesh right before where chain meets face, it should effectively sever the chain. The pews are stacking up quickly, covering the lowest chains--but building a nice pile up toward the middle and highest chains as the wall pushes onward. Cutting all of those off, physics should do... well, maybe not the rest of the work but it should cause that face to start peeling off.


Fuck it.

You rush forward and start climbing the pews to the left of Dad's face.

They're not... handling each others' weight very well, wood breaking and splintering as more gets shoved into the mess. It's just a giant pile of wooden chunks, at this point, and their constant shifting as the wall pushes them forward makes for unsteady ground.

...But you manage it. Reaching the top of the left pile, you hold your sword high, and bring it down as hard as you possibly can.

There's resistance, but

the sword cleaves through the skin.

The middle left chain breaks free with a chunk of flesh; it continues to slide with the wall-mounted rail, but now it's just hanging to the floor instead of helping to keep the face to the wall. One down, three or five to go (depending on how crucial those now buried bottom chains are).

The wall continues forward; the pile climbs higher, and so do you, with some awkward footwork to adjust as more pews crash into the stack.

You can juuust about reach the top chain, when--

you are blinded by a flash of light

and paralyzed by maybe the worst pain you've ever felt.

Every muscle in your body tightens, flexes, burns.

Everything burns. Inside and out.

You can't even move. You choke on the scream trying to force its way out.

And then

with a thunderous explosion beneath you, you are launched about three and a half rows away from the wall; your spine bounces hard off one of the intact pews before you flop helplessly to the floor.

It takes several seconds to even move, never mind find footing.

Pieces of wooden shrapnel are buried in your torso, and legs, and arm, and...

you dropped the sword somewhere.

You vomit a large quantity of blood before dragging yourself to, at least, your knees.

The wall's still coming but its pile of broken pews is noticeably smaller.

There's chunks of the previously stacked pews all over the room now.


You sort of, almost stand, frantically stumbling and rolling to put distance between you and the oncoming wall. Your original instinct was that it wouldn't have any attacks--that the boss's purpose is just to crush you. Apparently, it has some sort of... counter attack, or--

you collapse halfway down the aisle. You drag yourself another foot or two before pulling yourself to sit in one of the remaining pews, glancing back. You need to at least see what it did.

The wall keeps moving forward. Same pace. Steady. Consistent.

Pews pile up and break on either side of the face as the wall rams into them.

The debris pile gets high enough...

A flash of light runs down the chains--at least, the five chains you haven't severed yet.


You hateful fucking monster son of a bitch, god damn. Fuck almighty.

The severed chain flashes, as well, but it doesn't feed its electricity directly to the skin mask, which then lights up in a huge burst of collected energy. That's what blinded you, and what caused most of the damage--the rails feed voltage through the chains to the face, who then creates a sort of... field around itself. Just a brief aura, one second or so at the most, but at the flash's completion the two piles of gathered pews at either side of the wall explode.

You duck into your currently uncollected pew to shield you from the wave of wooden debris that goes soaring in all directions.



Wall moves, pews stack up, face explodes them with electricity. It's still part of your brain, of course it's an unnecessarily complex process.

The height of the stack it needs to reach before it blows up seems fairly consistent--just high enough to reach the top chains. It still takes the face a moment to "charge up" before the blast.

Ugh, you would kill for dodge rolls and/or Mustachio jumps right about now. ...Or Kate. The timing on getting in and out to slash the chains off between electrical bursts is going to be tight, and you're--


barely able to stand.

You pull yourself to your feet.

Breathing hurts. Everything hurts.

You're fading rapidly. It probably costs mana just to keep the organ failure at bay.

You spy your sword on the floor, across the aisle. If you hurry, you can grab it before it gets dragged under the latest pile of pews.

You could just let yourself fade.

If the wall kills you, you'll have to deal with a Shadow Plaire and this fucker.

If you just... give up, and let the dream take you, though...

Kate wouldn't give up.

Kate would keep fighting.

You're not Kate, though.

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average rating: 5

19th May 2020, 5:55 PM
Ooof, that looks like it hurts.
Channel your anger, pull yourself back together and finish the fight.
Too angry to notice your injuries means your too angry to die right?
19th May 2020, 6:03 PM
but she is technically the kinda rational one
19th May 2020, 6:11 PM
19th May 2020, 6:12 PM
Loose Cog
-1 we are in no condition to fight, and the only buff we have is whatever the volleyball game gave us
19th May 2020, 8:52 PM
Sand vollyball would have a dive and scoop, jump and spike, sprint, lunge. Not useless if we keep it together. The dive can get our sword back. Jump and spike can probably be a jump slash and take a whole side out at once. Sprint and lunge might get us under a pew in shelter quick enough.
19th May 2020, 11:09 PM
Good points, let's try it, focusing hard on using the volleyball moves. Maybe tapping into it will help give us a second wind, too?
20th May 2020, 4:12 AM
It might be a bit meta, but this could be the set-up to that badass moment where we suddenly learn what the volleyball move is, in our last fighting breath.
20th May 2020, 11:53 AM
+1 to last-ditch volleyball move.
19th May 2020, 5:58 PM
Kate would keep fighting, but bear in mind that she just said she doesn't understand a thing about this place. Plaire's judgement is better here.
19th May 2020, 6:03 PM
Oh yeah! We really need to figure out what abilities Volleyball gave us before we fade.
19th May 2020, 6:05 PM
+1 to experimenting with volleyball abilities, like by spiking some wood at the face's flesh that is near the chains.
19th May 2020, 6:06 PM
We could also spike wood at the windows, to see if we can break a window and see what's behind it.
19th May 2020, 6:00 PM
We know what abilities we need to beat this thing's first form, now. This has been a successful fact-finding mission. Let's continue to fact-find, and do what others suggested in the previous update: smash one of the windows and see what's behind it. If we can get to the Whole-Ass Sword in time, we can use that, but otherwise, we could try swinging a chunk of pew-- or we could even spike a chunk of pew at the window!

We could also try spiking some pew chunks at the face to see if we can reveal anything else about it. I'm not sure if we can sever a chain with a spiked pew chunk, but we can *try.*

In other words, we should use our ranged ability and be like "pew pew pew."

Also, we don't need to force ourselves to be like Kate. *Kate* is like Kate. Rule #1 of party composition is that you complement each other, not duplicate each other. Being down a party member doesn't mean that we have to do what she does-- it means we need to do what *we* do best, which is learn things and reason them out, and then come back later with her so she can do *her* thing.
19th May 2020, 6:08 PM
+1 Maybe just spike some wood at the windows from a safe distance and not bother with the sword?
19th May 2020, 6:12 PM
19th May 2020, 6:57 PM
20th May 2020, 4:24 PM
+1 to further experimentation, particularly with any possible Volleyball perks. There should be plenty of volleyball-sized pew chunks for this.

I also agree that we can leave getting the sword back for later, BUT cast a quick eye around to see where it is. Wooden chunks flying around are bad enough, but we don't need those explosions to send a sword flying at us too.
19th May 2020, 6:01 PM
You're not Kate, you're right. You don't have to rush forward making things harder on yourself next time. Just fade and take it out next night. You know to watch out for the electricity now, and you can come back with a companion who hasn't been killed.
19th May 2020, 6:07 PM
19th May 2020, 6:06 PM
Definitely definitely fade away, when we come back here we won't have a sword while shadow plaire probably will, and dealing with this wall is hard enough on its own, we haven't even seen the rest of its attacks. We should fade.
19th May 2020, 6:11 PM
I'd rather fade, as that might not count as a death for the sake of our limited lives. The best thing we can do here is gather information about this room, the boss, and anything else we safely can while we hold out till we fade. Any windows that look like they could be jumped through? Any other notable features of the room? Channel our inner details nerd on that to keep ourselves together while we hold out.
19th May 2020, 6:29 PM
Whether fading or not, Dear Old Dad is going to win this fight. The difference will be whether he wins by defeating Plaire, or wins by default if Plaire simply allows her time to run out.
The latter sounds a little less frustrating. Fading seems like a better idea even from a defiant standpoint: "don't give Dad the satisfaction of finishing the job."
...Also if Plaire dies here, her evil clone might have the sword. That'd suck to deal with.
19th May 2020, 6:57 PM
19th May 2020, 6:26 PM
Eh, to heck with it: let's go down swinging. Then after this is over we can hold our head high and inform our friends we went down in battle.
19th May 2020, 6:29 PM
Lunar Waffles
+1 to information gathering, knowledge is power ^-^
19th May 2020, 6:58 PM
19th May 2020, 7:01 PM
+1 to any sort of information gathering: Checking out the windows, testing our volleyball powers, even just taking a closer look at the floor/walls/ceiling to see if we’ve missed any designs or anything. We should make our last few minutes count, but avoid dying no matter what. Even if we somehow lose the sword and the chain gets reset, we can’t beat the face as is and it’ll be even harder with a sword wielding nega-Plaire to deal with too.
19th May 2020, 8:17 PM
If we do decide to fight more (I suggest no, we could try running away), focus on removing the chains on only one side of the face, because that might be enough to make the face fall down and stop the wall moving.
19th May 2020, 8:42 PM
As a person who has played Dark Souls 1, 2, and 3, don't expect to win a boss fight on your first encounter. We now have knowledge about at least one of the boss's attacks, so try not to die (to avoid nega-Claire) and see if you can learn anything else useful about the boss arena.
19th May 2020, 11:15 PM
19th May 2020, 9:24 PM
+1 to all the suggestions about trying out our volleyball powers before fading.
19th May 2020, 10:31 PM
It might still be a good idea to try to break one of the stained glass windows to see what's behind it.
19th May 2020, 11:10 PM
20th May 2020, 12:43 AM
+1 volleyball spike some wood at the windows I think after that Plaire should run away
19th May 2020, 10:40 PM
You can barely stand, much less swing a sword. Game the system and open the retreat door now that you've got nothing to lose.
20th May 2020, 2:07 AM
We're not accomplishing anything more on this run. Our best bet is to fade out, so we don't have a shadow to deal with on our next run.
20th May 2020, 3:31 AM
Something I haven't seen mentioned: Without the "Do Not Reset" sword, there's zero guarantee a victory here will even count. We might still have to redo this same boss fight even if we eek out a victory somehow.

Getting more information before fading out is the best way to go.
20th May 2020, 4:48 AM
You should probably still have dream-Brainstate. Use it, it may work as a healing item.
20th May 2020, 9:10 AM
Tentative +1. Maybe pop one quickly and get back to doing whatever else we planned on doing. We have no reason to believe that items from the real world maintain anything but their original properties in this world and we're in a situation of great peril right now.
20th May 2020, 7:27 PM
Eh. Can't really make death worse can it?

20th May 2020, 5:13 AM
On the plus side, if we kill the boss before we die, we only have our shadow to deal with, by usual game logic
20th May 2020, 2:56 PM
"Sever the flesh from the chains." Okay, that *needs* to be the name of a heavy metal album.

We have a bit of an opening now, should we try getting *behind* the face? If there's at least some space between it and the meat. Easier to reach the bottom chain(s), don't have to deal with shrapnel as much, possibly even avoid the electricity if there's enough space.
20th May 2020, 6:14 PM
Maybe that'll be the first single from Frankendyke's debut album, Rip Suckin'?
22nd May 2020, 12:51 AM
Did she piss herself, or is that just shading?