9th Mar 2020, 10:16 PM
Search for secrets

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Search for secrets
After a moment of thought

"I think we should look for anything hidden in the house."

Before Kate can finish pumping her arm, you clarify: "Gently."

Kate takes a short puff. "Damn."

You take a long look at your living room, as though it may be the last you see of it. "We'll tear it up if we find anything weird, but... I do still have to live here for a while."

Kate gets a... tiny smile. "Dibs on searching Plaire's room."

"I'll search my own room," you retort, "thank you. I don't think there's anything going on under the floors--I've been walking around here for days and nothing's stood out."

"Yeah, but--" Cici starts, but then stops. You see her expression twist as she reconsiders how to phrase what she says next. "--But you're not... uh... very heavy...?"

Kate, after taking a very long drag, adds "You're travel sized, you gotta try jumping off of shit."

Big sigh.

(Big Sigh would be your rapper name.)

"I'll... try jumping, then."

Kate points two fingers at her eyes, then one finger at you. "Jump high."

"Don't jump off anything dangerous, though," Cici says. "I can just stomp around your room later if you don't wanna risk it."

You march (heavily) to your room, attempting not to change colors over the discussion of your size.

You begin to tap on the walls, and jump on the floor.

Kate does the same in the living room, while Cici heads into the kitchen.

"Did you also forget a sleeping bag?," you shout to Kate.

"I know you basically escaped your old town, but," Kate pauses before loudly concluding, "I dunno, I figured you grabbed a couch or something on the way out."

"I got two!," yells the muffled voice of Cici, in between light thumps on the wall. "Sleeping bags, I mean! We can go get 'em later!"

You continue searching for a little while--becoming a little self conscious about how loud your stomps are compared to Cici and Kate's, and beginning to contemplate leaping off the bed--when you hear a much louder thud from elsewhere in the house.

Followed immediately by Cici yelling out. "Plaire?"

"Not me!," you shout back.

Another, somehow more hostile thud.

"...Kate?," Cici asks in a more... suspicious tone.

"Ffff... it's me, We're good," Kate finally proclaims, sounding like she's in pain. You and Cici both wander into the living room to find out what happened.

Kate is nursing her elbow as you walk in, but she quickly collects herself, looking from you to Cici.

"Hey," Kate says, "you guys wanna see something cool?"

--And without saying another word, Kate pulls a switchblade (?!) out of her pocket

and... opens it, or activates it, or whateverthethingwherethebladecomesout

and before you can properly begin to lose your mind

she turns and hurls it straight at the wall.


Like, Kate really turns her body into it.

The knife bounces off the wall,

"Oh, shit--"

and spirals through the air, knicking Kate across the hand as she tries to cover her face. From there, the knife tumbles to the floor.

A brief silence follows, though it may just seem longer and quieter in your head.

"What the hell are you thinking?!," Cici finally shouts. She trudges up to Kate, and you realize that Cici normally slouches a bit because god


she is actually somehow (SOMEHOW) larger than you thought.

"You coulda put your damn eye out!," Cici yells. "Is that what you want?! It's gonna be real stupid when we ALL gotta wear eyepatches!"

You, however,

are still frantically bouncing your attention from the knife, which was sharp enough and thrown hard enough to draw blood from Kate's hand ON THE REBOUND

and the wall that it bounced off of

without leaving a scratch.

"Cici," you say quietly.

"And if you can't be responsible with a weapon--" Cici suddenly stops, realizing that you've said something.

You continue. "...It bounced. Why did it bounce?"

You may or may not mutter an additional "whydiditbounce" while Cici's expression slooowly contorts. You can see the gears turning in her head, her eyes widening as the pieces finally fall into place.

You realize that Kate is grinning wide, smoke pouring out of her nose like the dragon on a winning slot machine.

Cici turns, and joins you in staring blankly at the wall.

She starts to ball up her fist, but Kate stops her. "You do not wanna do that. Trust me. It hurts like a big oool' bitch." Kate passes her beer to the opposite hand, level in her teeth, so she can shake her arm out a bit.

Kate then takes a moment to pull the crowbar out of her bag.

She holds it out.

Cici looks at the crowbar, then at Kate, then at you.

Nobody says anything.

You simply nod.

Cici takes the crowbar.

Kate takes a step back, and you follow suit.

Cici takes a few seconds negotiating her grip, finally deciding to swing the crowbar with one hand. She stares at the wall, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, readying her stance--

you take one last glimpse at Kate, who looks like she's strapping in for a rollercoaster--

and Cici swings.


What follows is...

the strangest combination of noises you've probably ever heard.

You hear Cici's shirt.

Not the sound of fabric ripping, per se, but like

you're not a tailor and you're not an expert on acoustics but if you had to guess what a bunch of seams (stitches? damn okay you're definitely not a tailor) getting all torn simultaneously sounded like, your speculation would take you pretty close to this noise

and then the sound of iron hitting brick (stone? mythril?)

and the sound of...

something else. Like a metal... whining...

holy shit

You finish wincing and there, before you as you open your eyes, is Cici

in front of a completely un-fucking-touched wall

holding a bent crowbar.

Not a scratch on the wall.

Not a dent.

Not a smear.


Just the wall.

Like it had not just had a crowbar physically deformed upon it.

Just the wall to your fucked up UNKILLABLE??? house.

No one has said anything for a while now.

Cici finally manages to unstun herself to practically whisper, "I'm sorry I bent your crowbar."

"Dude." Kate shakes her head, suddenly remembering she has level. She pauses to take a mighty drag. "That was maybe the coolest thing I've ever seen, don't apologize. Plaire, congrats on your invincible house."

"Is it the whole house?" You regret asking the question almost as soon as you ask it. You don't even think you really want an answer. If you don't finish the thought, though, you know someone else probably will. "Or is it just this wall...?"

"Only one way to find out," Kate remarks. "That's glass in the front door, right?"

"That is definitely NOT the only way to find out!," Cici notes (firmly).

You stare at the front door of your house.

"We can test the other walls first!," Cici insists.

"Imagine how useful it'll be--" Kate begins, picking her knife back up and... uh... de-blading it. "--Knowing whether or not the glass in your front door is unbreakable." She stashes the switchblade back into her pants pocket.

"I'm not throwing anything through anybody's windows," Cici finally states. She starts to cross her arms, but settles for putting her hands on her hips when her sleeves begin to try and rend themselves from the rest of her shirt. You definitely heard her shirt... unshirting itself during the big swing earlier.

She was planning to swing by her apartment for a sleeping bag, anyway. She can... hopefully also get another shirt. Before this one explodes.

Or not, it's y'know whatever

You shake your head. You keep picturing yourself trying to explain why you chucked a crowbar through your window, and even in your imagination it's not working out. "I don't think I can do it, either. I want to know, but--holy shit, if it doesn't work and I break my own window I won't be able to live."

Kate approaches.

She takes the bent crowbar from Cici.

Neither you nor Cici fight it.

"I want you to know," Kate tells you, "I wouldn't do this if I didn't have total faith in both my own ability to maintain a knife, and the power of your fucked up house, respectively. You're cool, and my friend, and I'm ready for you and Cici to just... beat the everloving shit out of me if this doesn't work."

Kate turns

and takes a step

and hurls the bent crowbar across the living room, straight at your front door window.

It's a hell of a throw. The crowbar's warped shape puts a little spin on it.

It's like everything is in slow motion, and yet it all happens so fast.

The crowbar bounces.


The fucking glass.

The glass is fine.

The door is fine.

The house is fine.

Everything's fine.

You look at Cici, who is looking at you like you're strapped to a bomb.

You then look at Kate, who turns back to the two of you with an impeccable poker face. Just, absolutely stone cold in light of the implications of your house being god damn indestructible.

She simply takes another drink... and has another puff.

"So," Kate says, "uh," long pause, "your house fucking rules."

"I should NOT have let you do that," Cici blurts out like she just realized it.

"I'm persuasive," Kate replies. "That's what makes me dangerous. That's what my math teacher used to tell me."

You wait

as though the house is going to come to life and exact retribution for your attacks upon it

Cici suddenly turns to you, still wide-eyed. "I would've bought you a new window. This was stupid. We should not have done this."

but the house does nothing

except keep being a house.

hmm sure hope that doesn't affect the dream

"Guys," Kate begins, "this is like the opposite of a thing to freak out about. Oh, and this slaps a huge list of potential motives on the mayor's profile. I would totes do unethical mayor shit for an indestructible house."

You have to mentally talk yourself out of loudly apologizing to the house.

You're not sure what kind of dead eyed stare into the abyss you're projecting, but Cici gently puts a hand on your shoulder. "Maybe we should take a break from--"

"NOT fucking this house up, 'cuz Plaire's house doesn't take any shit?" Kate takes a dramatic drag. "Yeah, I'm down for whatever."

"How are you excited right now?," Cici asks. "Level's supposed to like... level you out."

"I have rock and roll running through my veins," Kate announces nonchalantly before downing the rest of her beer.

Realization brings you back to reality. "You need stronger level," you point out.

"Or don't," Cici interjects. "You might actually blow your damn heart up."

You breathe, and take another hard stare at the warped crowbar still laying on the floor.

House. What is your deal, house?

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average rating: 5

9th Mar 2020, 10:54 PM
Welp. Could try the more inner walls to make sure it's not just the outer wall/door maybe?
Dunno what else we have to do besides let Cici get her bags.
9th Mar 2020, 10:56 PM
.... Welp, now that brute force is out of the question, let's apologize to the house(Wouldn't hurt at this point.) and look for hidden buttons/trapdoors/means to open otherwise hidden areas.
9th Mar 2020, 11:16 PM
10th Mar 2020, 3:49 PM
+1 for apologies.
Maybe start considering it as another person while you're at it. Lack of communication kills, and if the nightmares depend on the house we want a good relationship with it.
Noone likes being talked about as if they weren't there.
10th Mar 2020, 4:58 PM

We don't know if the house is actually *malicious* or if it just does the deadly stuff as some kind of reflection of our own mind. Maybe it considers US to be the creepy ones.
10th Mar 2020, 8:10 PM
+1. better safe than sorry for angering a monster house that could kill us in our sleep.
11th Mar 2020, 12:05 AM
9th Mar 2020, 11:12 PM
So, our house is invincible. The next question is what counts as "our house?" Does the stove count? Does our computer count now? The bed? That cardboard box we brought in? There should be lightbulbs, can we remove those (don't break them, just scratch the bottom part with a knife). Perform the scratch test on anything we can get our hands on that won't be awful if it doesn't work. Is the dirt outside ours? The patio? The walk out to the street? Where does it stop being house, and start being normal? Carpet or drapes would be good to test. If we unscrew a cabinet door and take it outside, is it still indestructible? Heck, if we unscrew the front door, does that count? There are non-desctructive ways of taking things apart, let's try those next.
Edit: If that doesn't turn up anything, turn the place upside down looking for secrets, both inside and out, top and bottom. Leave no shingle unturned, no gas meter un-fiddled-with!
9th Mar 2020, 11:16 PM
9th Mar 2020, 11:32 PM
no those are obviously furniture so they can be installed and removed I believe it is whatever can not be removed having said that I am totally fine with having Cici test that out by lifting and dropping the stove on the floor to see if it breaks
10th Mar 2020, 4:59 PM
+1 let's do Science!
9th Mar 2020, 11:16 PM
Well, now we know why the mayor and the government didn't destroy the house when they had a chance. They physically couldn't.
9th Mar 2020, 11:18 PM
Ask Cici to bend the crowbar back if she can.
10th Mar 2020, 12:14 AM
Probably better off leaving it as is, metal gets more brittle the more you bend it.
10th Mar 2020, 6:14 AM
9th Mar 2020, 11:22 PM
Before I forget! Maybe suggest that Kate can just share your bed? wink Maybe make it sound joking but also go along with it if Kate agrees. Besides! Legitimate testing whether they have to be in your bed! Or maybe only people you have physically with you come with you!
10th Mar 2020, 12:15 AM
As for physical stuff, having a backpack would be really nice, and Kate did bring one.
10th Mar 2020, 7:46 AM
+1 to bringing the backpack
9th Mar 2020, 11:23 PM
So you can't damage the house. What about marking it? Anybody got a marker or a pen or something?
10th Mar 2020, 8:03 AM
+1 to trying to mark the house
10th Mar 2020, 12:26 PM
+1 we'll know what kind of protection is it.
9th Mar 2020, 11:30 PM
I am just imagining the spooky house going "hmm? did someone throw a crowbar inside me? mm whatever, are they asleep yet? I want to kill them in their nightmares"
10th Mar 2020, 1:34 AM
- Plot twist: The house is actually located in Southden... :-)
- Does not having the deed to the house have any potential legal problems? Could we be arrested for being in the house?
- Does Plaire know who sold her the house? Could she try to find them and get the deed? Maybe it was Parsons who sold the house to Plaire, to use Plaire as a test subject?
10th Mar 2020, 1:40 AM
If raw destruction won't work the next test would be trying to take things apart rather than break them .
10th Mar 2020, 8:04 AM
10th Mar 2020, 6:12 AM
I think I figured out Kate's mutant power

Suggestion or Persuasion.
10th Mar 2020, 3:46 PM
Well, either that or music-based blood.

the blood, the blood...
10th Mar 2020, 4:56 PM
Further credence building to rename this The House of Nope. Only thing left to test would be to take an inside door off its hinges (if even possible), drag it outside the property limit on to the street and see if it can be marked up there, otherwise go get sleeping bags, etc.
10th Mar 2020, 5:00 PM
Let's look at Kate's hand before we do anything else. She got cut, right? Better clean that up and bandage it. ...Do we even have a first aid kit? ^_^;

(please have like, Super Mustachio branded bandaids omg)
10th Mar 2020, 6:46 PM
10th Mar 2020, 8:07 PM
11th Mar 2020, 12:06 AM
10th Mar 2020, 9:44 PM
Well if we ever want to put pictures up, we're going to have to get some of those hooks that stick to things, 'cause nails or thumb tacks aren't going to cut it.