6th Mar 2020, 9:01 PM
Do not... do those things

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Do not... do those things
"Okay, definitely not," you insist while fighting back some amount of laughter. "First off, level can explode your fucking heart."

"Pshhh," Kate opens with a wave of her hand, "only if you hit like... 80% of your maximum heart rate."

You continue. "--And ouija boards are dangerous even by occult standards. It's like an open line; literally anything, any demon or spirit or... whatever else might be floating around this house can hop on and claim to be whoever they want. There's no way of knowing if what you're getting is accurate, or even who it's from."

There's a brief pause before Cici speaks up, giving you a definite look. "...I thought you were raised super religious?"

"Yeah," you reply, "privately schooled. I was taught about the sinister tools of Satanism instead of sex ed."

Kate smirks. "Do you--"

"NoIdon'tneedhelpwiththat," you blurt out. "I-- it's an old joke yes I know about sex now."

Kate's smirk erupts into a much wider grin. "Okay, fine, no ouija boards. We need to do something besides playing video games all night, though, and if you don't like my plan A..." Kate empties a couple of Brainsate into her hand and passes them to you. You don't swallow them yet; you mostly get anxiety in social situations. You'll definitely need them later, however. As she's screwing the lid back on and putting the bottle back in her jacket pocket, Kate continues. "...You're really not gonna like what else I got."

You squint as you stash the pills in your pocket. "...Why? What was your plan B?"

"So." Kate grabs one of the beers from the floor, opens it, and then begins to obtain a slice of pizza with her free hand. "Ms. Temperance Walsh is on business. Out of town business."

You squint harder. "And the mayor?"

Kate grins. "She has a meeting with the chief of police at 10:30 pm... at the station. The mayor's office will be totally, 100% unstaffed." She takes a bite of her pizza.

"Wait--" Cici also grabs another piece of pizza, "you wanna break into the mayor's office? Are you crazy?"

"The mayor has the spooky house's history," Kate says before taking a swig of beer. "We can find out exactly who owned this place, and everybody that's had it since then. She kept it at the office before, I'll bet it's still there."

"We tried talking her out of it," you tell Cici. "But Parsons doesn't want me to know anything, she just wants me to sell her the house."

"If we don't take the history by force," Kate says, "we're probably not getting it. It's not like the mayor's just gonna suddenly change her mind."

"You guys just got done almost getting arrested," Cici points out.

"Twice," you add. "Trespassing slash resisting arrest and arson, respectively."

Cici nods. "Do you really wanna push your luck again? This soon?"

"I don't know how often we're gonna get a shot like this," Kate says, "or how often I'm gonna hear about it. It was total luck I overheard all this at work."


Wait.


"...Was it?" You squint anew. "What do you think the odds are you were being fed that information?"

Kate's eyes widen. "Oh, fuck, good point. Trying to break in might just be what the mayor wants us to do. Having the chief of police quote-unquote occupied just makes the fucking trap sweeter."

Cici stops, looking from Kate to you. "...Look, I'm not on Team B&E here, but isn't it a little paranoid to think it's a setup?"

"No" is your blunt reply. "I'm trying not to get all... crop circles, Zone 50, UFOs did Easter Island about the forces involved with this house, but I will absolutely expect the worst thing I can imagine from the methods of the human, or... er, vampire element. One, likely two persons were unpersoned, and I'm still not convinced that the fire at Maria's wasn't a frame job. For me, or Kate, or both of us, but a frame job of some kind."

You heave a small sigh.

"When I die in the dream I just wake up. There's no second chances if we get fucked in real life, and they are trying very hard to fuck us and they've been pretty damn good at it so far."


"...That's fair," says Cici after a moment or two.

"Yeah, maybe not breaking into the mayor's, then," Kate remarks. "...Tonight, anyway."

It's Cici that sighs this time.

"We gotta do it eventually," counters Kate. "It's that or get the dental off the corpses when we find 'em."

"Why," Cici begins, "do we keep assuming the bodies are buried here?"

"Uh, 'cuz it's haunted?," replies Kate with a shrug.

"I'm mostly joking BUT--" you hold up a finger, "--the lack of occult... markings, or whatever, or any dark altars or... tools, anything for the haunting to be focused on, means we ARE probably missing something. It... there has to be a source, right? Something we can... burn, or cleanse, or bury to... fix the house."

"Unless it's JUST the house," Cici replies, taking another bite. "You're gonna have to hose the walls down with holy water."

"Haaaunted insulaaation," says Kate, wiggling her beer and pizza as she cannot free her fingers. "Feeding the worst raccoons you've ever seen."

You find yourself lightly smiling. "And right before I finish dramatically exorcising the foundation, I'll be like Jesus was a carpenter, motherfucker."

"So wait," Kate starts, "are we really committed to there being bodies buried in the house somewhere, because I am definitely cool with staying in tonight if we're gonna find skeletons."

"There is NO reason to believe there's bodies buried in this house," Cici states definitively.

"...Aside from the lack of bodies elsewhere," you add. "The maybe-possibly-witches had to go somewhere, they didn't just disappear."


Long pause.


You know someone's going to say it.



It's Kate. "...Unless they did?"

Shit.

You can't actually rule that out.

What if the original owner(s) just... spontaneously stopped existing, and that's why nobody knows their name(s)

"UuuuugggGGGGHHHH being awake is the STUPID part," you say, loud enough to get a little echo in your living room. "Everything is just a bunch of question marks! I don't know SHIT. Everything is MAYBEs."

"Well Plaire," Kate says with the smile and the tone of a game show host, "if you're not planning on going anywhere or, say, getting your heartrate up to 80% of its max..."

You smile, but sigh, shaking your head. "I'm still not sure if the... dream... dungeon counts as physical exertion? I don't know what's going on with my body while I'm... uh... out."

"Maybe that's what happened to the witches," Cici suggests. "They smoked level and the nightmare blew their hearts up. And it was covered up by Big... uh... Big Drugs."

Kate smiles, finishing her slice of pizza. "You're terrible at conspiracy theories, but if I ever become a rapper I'm calling myself Big Drugs."

"...There has to be something I missed in this house," you mutter, mostly to yourself. "But it's kind of a small house, and I don't have... like... even a crowbar or anything, I don't know how much searching we could feasibly do."

"I have a crowbar," Kate mentions off-handedly. You and Cici both stare at her as she attempts to juggle her can of beer and retrieve the level from her pocket, at the same time. "In my backpack."

You start to ask, but decide not to.

Cici does, anyway. "Whyyy do you have a crowbar?"

"I wanted to see if I could bring a crowbar into the nightmare zone?," Kate replies, before adding "Obviously." Finally managing to open the baggy inside her pocket, Kate pulls out a single stick of level and slips it into her mouth. She then begins to fish for her lighter, discovering it is not in the same pocket as the level. "And, y'know, I thought we might be breaking into the mayor's."

"...It's a pretty nice house, though," Cici remarks. "I'd feel kinda bad if we tore it up with a crowbar."

"Cici," Kate says firmly, reaching... across herself... and awkwardly trying to fit her hand into the opposite jacket pocket. The level is between her teeth the entire time. "You have to say yes to at least one cool plan tonight. It's the law. You've dangled wrecking a house in search of skeletons in front of me, don't take it away now."

"We do still have video games," you toss in, just in case.

"Yeah!," agrees Cici as she wanders over to also grab a beer, "Plaire's got a volleyball game where all the girls have giant tiddies."

You sigh. Internally.

Kate finally starts to light her level. "Plaire didn't tell me she had a game like that... but I think I knew. Somehow, I think I knew. Anyway,"

Kate, after taking a huge puff (in your living room, but it all happens so fast you're not even sure if you're mad about it yet), shoves her lighter back into her pocket. "It's your house and your sleepover, so it's whatever you wanna do Plaire." Over the course of a second or two, her grin returns. "You... filthy, filthy nerd."

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6th Mar 2020, 9:22 PM
I think atleast double checking around the house; probobly without the crowbar unless we find a vent or something; would be a good idea.
6th Mar 2020, 9:59 PM
search for the hidden laundry room of spookhaus
6th Mar 2020, 9:59 PM
pkrankow
Vents usually require a screwdriver.

Crowbar might help with loose trim near suspicious wear marks....
7th Mar 2020, 3:39 PM
Crawling around in the vents hmmm... *stares*
+1
7th Mar 2020, 3:39 PM
Crawling around in the vents hmmm... *stares*
+1
9th Mar 2020, 3:47 AM
+1 to double-checking the house, or doing anything else that further investigates it.

After all, there presumably won't be any legal/social repercussions from tonight's actions, as the house is owned by Plaire, and the nightmares presumably do not do permanent damage (yet).

This cannot be said for *criminally* entering the Mayor's office, whether we are caught or not. Even if this is not bait laid by the mayor, any kind of disturbance would be linked to us simply because we met with her very recently and left on not hospitable terms.

The library is a greyer area, but still definitely more risky than Plaire's house. Better to explore it (with back-up) in the day first.
6th Mar 2020, 9:25 PM
Xylas_Incarnum
poke around for secrets for a bit, have a break and pizza, then select a game with a power set that'd be handy to have in the game and have everyone take a turn with it.

Sound good?
6th Mar 2020, 9:25 PM
Anotherdamntimeclone
Well we should definitely try getting Kate to play the game some so if she is brought into the dungeon with us she can have some kind of advantage.
We might be able to do a small amount of searching with the crowbar, maybe look for any obviously loose boards to find hidden goodies.
6th Mar 2020, 9:32 PM
Definitely check around the house. We can knock on walls and see if any of them sound hollow when they should be solid, or solid when they should be hollow! Maybe we should see if Kate or Cici can get their hands on a stud finder for next sleepover (and then we can all joke about a device called a "stud finder" in a roomful of lesbians).

Like, it's not a brilliant house, we can probably handle a hole in the wall if we come across something particularly weird. Emphasize to Kate that she should not use the crowbar until we give her the go-ahead though!

Also it is probably a good thing that Kate is smoking some level lol, that might calm her down a bit.

One good place to start might be to look around the outside of the house and then the inside, and see if there are any discrepancies in how big things are-- is the outside significantly bigger than the inside in any areas that would hint at a closed-off room?

Also, hop around on the floor to see if the floor sounds hollow anywhere. Cici and Kate would both be helpful because they are both likely significantly heavier than us (Cici due to being v v large and Kate due to having v v thicc legs) so they might make more noise. It's our own house, so we can make as much noise as we want!
6th Mar 2020, 9:42 PM
6th Mar 2020, 9:42 PM
6th Mar 2020, 9:43 PM
+1 - we can crowbar the place a bit, it's fiiiine. We aren't exactly worried about the resale value.
7th Mar 2020, 8:04 AM
7th Mar 2020, 3:40 PM
6th Mar 2020, 9:39 PM
undeadDreamer
Ask "Anything?" suggestively and then goofily wiggle your eyebrows to try to get rid of the awkward anxiety making a dirty joke might cause. Anyways preferably no destroying stuff, but a search of the house wouldn't hurt.
6th Mar 2020, 10:01 PM
pkrankow
+1 it is OUR house so needless destruction is needless.
6th Mar 2020, 10:56 PM
Probably won't find anything, but there might be something under the bed?

Whatever magical shenanigans went on here, I would suspect them to have happened beneath the house.
...Or in a room that doesn't match up with the house, come to think of it.
somewhere that should be there from measuring the outside of the house, but doesn't have a visible entrance on the inside.
7th Mar 2020, 5:20 PM
Snervalton
Or maybe the bed itself is somehow enchanted or cursed or something? Plaire didn't bring that bed with her to Ninelives, did she?
6th Mar 2020, 11:37 PM
So if the point that people focus about in the game is the giant boobs... Does that mean they'll get giant boobs in the dream? Alright let's let kate play the game but plaire and cici play crush souls for op dodge rolls.
7th Mar 2020, 9:55 PM
Snervalton
I was thinking they would get some sort of super-athletic serving and spiking abilities, but if the perk is boob-related then maybe it enhances their charisma or something? I dunno...
9th Mar 2020, 4:27 PM
JiggilyJoe
Please let the big boobs happen!
7th Mar 2020, 1:51 AM
I'm willing to try the Ouija Board even if I find it a bit dubious. Other than that, the only plan I'm inclined to entertain at this point is playing games and going to sleep.
If only we had a way of scouting out the mayor's office without sending an actual person in.
7th Mar 2020, 1:59 AM
Wander around the house comparing wall lengths. Like, if the doors in the hallway are 12 feet apart and the doors to the walls inside the rooms are 4 feet, something might be hidden there.
9th Mar 2020, 9:14 PM
7th Mar 2020, 3:20 AM
The floor is like, parquetry or whatever wooden boardy floor called in English. Stomp it till you hear an empty sound, like, an echo, when crowbar it open. It's the most clechéd hidden stash place, it always work.
7th Mar 2020, 3:42 AM
Just to re-emphasize in case the idea circles back around: Kate just happens to hear about the exact time that the mayor and secretary will both be conveniently out the very next day after giving us a reason to break in. Literally everything about this situation sounds, "Too good to be true."
7th Mar 2020, 6:43 AM
We could play the smartass card, go to her office and leave a slip in her mailbox reading "Thanks for the invitation, but we had better things to do tonight. Mayber later!"
7th Mar 2020, 9:12 AM
pkrankow
Regarding the crowbar...

Ask Cici if she is some kind of goddess of cake decorating, drywall repair, and home improvement projects.

(Cake decorating and drywall or plaster require uncannily similar skills)

It might break Cici for a few minutes but the result should be worthy however it goes.

(Caius was a plumbing god, with skill in electrical too.)
7th Mar 2020, 10:02 AM
Hari_Seldon
I am extremely scared that the mayor's house might have some kick-ass futuristic security system (or a safe for the documents) it is hopeless to defeat with a crowbar and it is very suspicious that we get an opportunity to break into it the day after we have the need to break in. I prefer to wait until we get more information about our house's spookiness and see if we learn something that we can use to convince the mayor that we have mastery of the spookiness so we should work together.

Stuff to do in order of importance:
1. Have Kate play a video game.
2. Investigate the house.
3. Watch Infohazard together.
4. Have Cici teach Plaire calisthenics to exercise at home. Plaire is busy, but like 30 minutes or an hour of exercise every day adds up.
7th Mar 2020, 11:14 AM
Yeah if we were going to break into her office we would need to at least bring Marlow with us for the opportunity for vampiric proof, his knowledge of the town to know what Else to grab while there, and general knowhow to disable any security he may have been tasked to set up.
Places to check: behind fridge/stove, outside walls, floor, and behind mirrors (Do we even Have a backyard? Attic? Don't know if this was ever brought up.)
7th Mar 2020, 5:29 PM
Snervalton
+1 to bringing Marlow along if/when we break into the mayor's office
7th Mar 2020, 2:06 PM
Does Kate have a sleeping bag? Part of me has a sneaking suspicion that Cici forgot hers "accidentally on purpose" but if Kate did the same thing I'm not sure if everyone is going to fit on the bed together. I mean that's no reason not to *try* of course. . .
8th Mar 2020, 8:57 PM
pkrankow
Both probably did this. Someone is going to comment about adjusting the thermostat so blankets are not needed.
7th Mar 2020, 2:40 PM
Oh! Before we go to bed tonight we should make sure Kate and Cici both have the door code memorized, just if we start in different rooms or something.
7th Mar 2020, 3:05 PM
Hari_Seldon
By the way about safes, I have watched the LockpickingLawyer YouTube channel and it has convinced me that almost all locks are garbage. This guy has never failed at picking a lock on his entire channel and that's a lot of locks.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm9K6rby98W8JigLoZOh6FQ

"Unpickable" Lock picked in 1 minute
https://youtu.be/UcEnYRa74zM
Fingerprint biometric lock opened with screwdriver
https://youtu.be/7Uje4pxfSlI
Here is a good one, but it was still picked with some custom special tools.
https://youtu.be/qV8QKZNFxLw

There is another one I did not keep track of. He opened the lock in a few seconds using a rake (a lockpick that is not straight but wavy) and got all the lock pins to go to their places by wiggling the rake around in that lock for a few seconds.

Richard Feynman was a USA physicist working on the atomic bomb. He loved puzzles and people sometimes asked him things like "Hey Feynman! Christy's out of town and we need a document from his safe - can you open it?"

Feynman found that the combination safes used had some "slack" so +-2 on every number of the safe not exactly that number, so he was able to brute force it in 8,000 combinations (10 hours). But then he did other things to decrease it even beyond that. He opened a Colonel's enormous impressive safe in 7 minutes and got banned from opening safes other than his own and everyone was ordered to change their safe combinations if Feynman was ever in their office.
http://www.openculture.com/2013/04/learn_how_richard_feynman_cracked_the_safes_with_atomic_secrets_at_los_alamos.html
"Safecracker meets Safecracker" explains the rest
https://www.cs.virginia.edu/cs588/safecracker.pdf

So yeah even "secure" places can have useless locks.
7th Mar 2020, 9:29 PM
It is totally possible for someone to just poof out of existence. So don't rule out the witches just disappearing to... I don't know... another dimension?
8th Mar 2020, 6:48 AM
Tied up in Nil's ritual circle.