17th Dec 2019, 5:45 PM
Insert your house key

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Insert your house key
That can't possibly be it.

You take the moment to breathe a bit and assess your wound. It doesn't look like it's getting worse or spreading any farther, but... you also have, like, negative medical knowledge. You can't even stand needles, you've definitely never looked at acid burns before.

You start checking the walls, the floor, even the ceiling for switches. Panels. Buttons. Plates. Anything. You jiggle the torches on the wall.


You hear a very muffled "I have a right to know" from somewhere in the walls.

You're pretty sure you'd rather dive down that hole than get another cluster of fibers shoved up in your skull, but you do have one other card up your sleeve.

You take a deep breath

and take the house key out of your pocket.

"Video game logic, don't fail me now," you mutter as you try to shove your key into the door's lock.

. . .

It goes in.

It turns.

It fucking CLICKS

and your key dissipates into nothing like a puff of smoke, or a smear dragged across a windshield. Boy, do you hope that doesn't carry over to real life.

You push the door open and step out into the next block. You take a glance down the hall to your immediate left.

"I have a right to know," says a creature dangling itself down from the ceiling.

Nnnnope. You swing right and head into another corner room, where you come face to face with


god damn

meat tube monster.


it pauses

"...have a right to know."

If you didn't have an irrational hatred of that phrase before you stepped into this nightmare, you'd definitely be walking away with one.

The ceiling's higher here, but this thing takes up a third of the room just by existing and it's as tall as it wants to be. Jumping over it is a gamble, and you imagine the other one's on its way behind you.

"Was this a trap?," you ask, like it's going to answer. "Did you assholes set up an ambush?!"

All you get in response, of course, is "I...

have a right to know."

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average rating: 5

17th Dec 2019, 5:55 PM
Care to be more specific then? what do you want to know? most people can't answer an unasked question.
18th Dec 2019, 7:34 AM
Yea, we have a right to know too.
17th Dec 2019, 6:02 PM
They flail uselessly when set on fire and you have a torch. Light it on fire, turn around, then light the other one on fire.
17th Dec 2019, 6:08 PM
Yeah, we're gonna have to fight. Hesitating dicked us over last time - if we just proceed with the murder torch plan with confidence, we can probably take them.
17th Dec 2019, 6:14 PM
+1, these monsters seem to like to grab us, so only polite to return the favor, with plenty of flare. Also, as Mario, our shoes should have additional stomping power. Fire should be our first plan, but if there's a spot we see for a well timed boot, we should take it.
Edit: We also can buttslam them if that comes up. I don't think that should be our opening move, but always good to have options in a brawl.
17th Dec 2019, 6:45 PM
I vote we light them first then jump to where they are coming thru the wall cut that off then stomp what's not on fire to mush
17th Dec 2019, 6:15 PM
I disagree slightly. We need to fight, but we don't need to fight both. Rush one, torch it, and run past it while it's freaking out! I'd suggest the north one, so we can get closer to the staircase.

Should worse come to worst, Plaire can probably chop through the brain tendrils with her knife.
17th Dec 2019, 6:38 PM
I realize that killing both has increased risk, but by constantly running through the halls to the next room, we're missing a LOT of exploring the cells. There's the potential for all sorts of useful items or information that we are just running right past.
17th Dec 2019, 6:13 PM
Lunar Waffles
+1 maybe throwing the torch(es)(we can always get a new one) as well to avoid getting to close?
17th Dec 2019, 9:54 PM
I solidly vote for setting both of them on fire and, if they both die, closing the door that's behind us and taking a look around. HOWEVER, If they do NOT seem to be COMPLETELY dead, just take advantage of the distraction, make another run for it, and see if there are any, oh I don't know, SAVE POINTS AROUND. The triangle might be one (or it might be a boss monster but either way! if we go that direction we'll be making some progress!)
17th Dec 2019, 11:35 PM
Manifest their right to burninate.
18th Dec 2019, 1:01 AM
+ 1 to operation "full agro." But definately focus on the North one and creating our escape route before dealing with the second.
18th Dec 2019, 2:28 PM
try killing the one at north first with fire, but only if it's not too risky, burn the other one.
17th Dec 2019, 6:06 PM
throw the torch at it, then shieldbash and slash your way to the exit. we don't want to be here when the second one arrives.
17th Dec 2019, 6:16 PM
What if killing the monster with the knife kills it forever it does not respawn (the police tape on the knife says "Do not reset")? If so we should attack with the knife.
17th Dec 2019, 6:31 PM
It says do not reset.

But that makes me wonder if using it on items makes them stay as they are when we wake up? Presumably taking it off the blade would send the blade somewhere else next time. But I wanted to point that out in case we find something useful.
17th Dec 2019, 6:56 PM
Ok. According to the map we acquired here - (Papers) - the way down requires going right from here.

I wonder... would Magic Mustachio get a fireball powerup? Could we use the torch somehow to give us fire flower power?
17th Dec 2019, 7:09 PM
Nice idea, but I'm guessing we'd have to find a physical flower to do that.
17th Dec 2019, 7:09 PM
Nice idea, but I'm guessing we'd have to find a physical flower to do that.
17th Dec 2019, 11:38 PM
I still think the map could be upside-down. Seeing the stairs will tell for sure.
17th Dec 2019, 7:26 PM
Another known Mustachio power is the ability to slide, or at least butt-skid. Go under the hanging monstrosity, and try to slice upward as you do.
17th Dec 2019, 9:05 PM
So I feel like we *need* to figure out what these things have a right to know, or they're going to keep doing this. They either move faster than we do, or there's enough of them that they can corner us no matter what. We can't really fight them effectively; there has to be a way to circumvent them.
17th Dec 2019, 11:40 PM
Considering the slogan might be an earworm Plaire heard while awake, and these guys are essentially monstrous worms... maybe that's just it ?
17th Dec 2019, 9:51 PM
These things don't like fire. We don't like their catchphrase. Time to exchange gifts.
17th Dec 2019, 11:09 PM
Well, this is magic mustachio, we could try stomping them like they are a goomba, it's an instakill, but the way down could be very rough
17th Dec 2019, 11:51 PM
I wonder how easily these creatures are to hack to bits.
18th Dec 2019, 9:27 AM
I think theres something off about this one... the pausing is making me curious...
18th Dec 2019, 9:27 AM
I think theres something off about this one... the pausing is making me curious...
18th Dec 2019, 12:14 PM
Oooh, I hadn't noticed that bit. You may be onto something.
Probably not worth dream-dying, though.
18th Dec 2019, 2:36 PM
I dunno if someone has said this before, but what if the reset is like a warning (like Caution tape), and not any attribute to the weapon?
What if resetting is like in games: deleting all data and all progress? Plaire doesn't remember this happening before, and apparently we're on our 2nd round/life, meeting our first anti-plaire.
I don't really know how to express this, but what if resetting was erasing/resetting all the times we've played this "game" before, erasing our memories, and erasing our ghost-monsters/anti-plaires?
18th Dec 2019, 3:00 PM
We don't have enough info yet. Maybe 'resetting' forces Plaire to wake up in the flooding cell, but also removes all clones except the most recent death.
And maybe 'not resetting' means we'll spawn at last checkpoint (wherever those are...) but everything we aggro'ed remembers it.

We'd have to strike a balance between making progress and managing mobs. But right now it's a very large question mark.
19th Dec 2019, 5:29 PM
That is true. I guess we’ll have to wait until we get more information.
18th Dec 2019, 7:53 PM
Theory time! These worms behave like the Cordyceps fungi: control the host directly for its own benefit. Thus between them and the acid bugs these were likely other people who wandered in here and got eaten. Hentai Plaire is probably the nicest outcome possible in this place, with more gruesome ones to follow with each dream death.