16th Dec 2019, 6:04 PM
Try the long jump

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Try the long jump
You dash into the west hall, slamming the door behind you--and leaving you faced with the massive hole that spans most of the room's floor. On the one hand, you're headed downstairs--just jumping straight down a floor would, if anything, get you there faster.

On the other hand, you don't want to gamble on how your altered physics handle fall damage, and whatever's down that hole is shrouded in total darkness. It might lead to the floor below--or it might lead five floors below. This pit could just go on forever, or lead to nothing but death (like you would expect from the sort of platformer you're currently borrowing jumps from).

One regular jump can't cross the pit, you're almost certain--

but does Magic Mustachio let you do wall jumps? Spin jumps? ...Long jumps?

Long jumps were easy to execute in the game--just get a good running start, hit Z to crouch, and immediately jump. You... obviously don't have a Z trigger to hit, but maybe--

your concentration is broken by the sound of a mace slamming into the door behind you. It looks like the worm-ridden corpse lacks the dexterity to just open the door, but another few swings of that mace will take it out entirely. Just one hit has already left damage visible from your side. You don't have a lot of time.

You glance down. There's one other factor involved: the pain in your leg. What little acid the worm managed to put on you has mostly cauterized the damage from the needle itself--or rather, that's your speculation. You're wounded, but you're not bleeding. "The acid cauterized the wound" just... sounds right. Like something you'd hear on TV. You start to worry about infection, but with this being a dream and all--

THUD. Splinters rain out from the door as the mace hits it a second time. You're either going to botch this jump and die, or die trying to fight the monster after it forces its way into the hall.

If you're going to die, though, you want to learn something from it.

You take off in an awkward sprint straight at the hole. Your calf burns with every step; the damaged muscle makes it impossible for you to keep an even pace, but you limp as fast as you can.

You near the edge. You hear the door burst open.

You duck low and then jump, realizing as soon as you do that you've leapt off the bad leg.

You still launch across the hallway, blasting straight over the vast majority of the pit. Any control you previously had is lost--you're a missile, flailing your arms and trying not to scream as pitch black abyss shoots by beneath you.

You have just enough awareness to realize, as you begin descending, that you're not going to make the jump.

Not quite.


You hurl your torch, bouncing it off the far wall. It doesn't matter, anyway--there's more than enough torches for you to find a replacement if necessary, but you need the free hand.

Your upper body slams onto the edge of the gap. You throw both arms out; one still bears the shield, but it's light and doesn't impede you much. You grip as hard as you can, struggling to throw your weight forward, to keep gravity from dragging you into the unknown depths below.

If you had hit it even an inch farther off, you don't think you'd have made it.

As it is, though, you have just enough of your weight firmly on the ground to tip the balance. You slowly, barely, drag yourself up onto solid floor. You just... lay there for a second, trying to catch your breath. You glance across the pit you just cleared, where the worm body still remains on the other side--staring, but unable to pursue.

You muster up enough energy to flip it the bird, then start pulling yourself to your feet. You pick your torch back up; somehow, the flame didn't go out. You're tired, and it still hurts to walk, but you're alive for a little while longer. You peek through the bars of the new door, into the next cell block.

No sign of life, at least not from this angle.

You open the door--

or rather, you try to.

The door is locked.

You flip the bar panel up like you did in your starting cell, but you find no puzzle--only a keyhole. An actual fucking keyhole.


You kick the door firmly, but it does not give.

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average rating: 4.8

16th Dec 2019, 6:15 PM
Sweet jump!

Look for buttons, floor pads, unusual openings in the wall or ceiling. There might be a puzzle to open the door...

Or we jump back and attack.
16th Dec 2019, 6:22 PM
if we do that we die
16th Dec 2019, 6:29 PM
Fixed that up a bit. Look for a puzzle. Dont forget to look at the ceiling.
16th Dec 2019, 6:17 PM
This isn't likely to work, since these doors weren't ever meant to operate SENSIBLY, but... maybe reach through the bars and see if we can reach the lock from the other side.
16th Dec 2019, 6:28 PM
+1. maybe the torch or the knife can give us extra reach.
16th Dec 2019, 6:27 PM
take a breathe and refocus then,
Check to see if we have our housekey if we do use it on the lock what's the worse that could happen
16th Dec 2019, 7:46 PM
This. It's just a small key, right? It... Might work.
16th Dec 2019, 6:34 PM
As a second-to-last resort, picking away with the knife at the door/hinges/walls to get through might do the trick.

Should really find a better option if at all possible, though.
16th Dec 2019, 11:59 PM
while I don't think it will "consume" the key in the sense that it would remove it from real life it would be something we would want to check. do lost items in the dream vanish in real life
16th Dec 2019, 6:36 PM
Seconding trying the house key on the door, as that really can't hurt. (Unless the key is consumed, video game style.) If that don't work, I think this is an excellent time to rest and asses how we're doing while using the torch, and any extra's in reach, to burn the door down, focusing fire on the fittings. (hinges, the latch, the lock, etc.)
16th Dec 2019, 6:47 PM
+1, we should also take this time to check if our torch is sentient, or if the flames just look like it has a face.
16th Dec 2019, 6:38 PM
First things first. Check our leg for the damage. We are limping and whatever that worm did might have slow-acting consequences.

Secondly: Try our door key, try the knife in the door, sure, why not :) Also: Is the ledge big enough we could try setting the door on fire? It's not video game logic either, but we should at least try (unless we'd fry ourselves doing so).
16th Dec 2019, 7:37 PM
+1 to This, we really should've done it before the jump but we were pressed for time. No such time limit now, we need to see if the leg injury is getting worse from acid or if it stopped.
17th Dec 2019, 4:56 PM

> Flip additional birds to establish superiority (and release stress).
16th Dec 2019, 6:41 PM
if there are more torches on this side of the gap and we can see fine without the one we've been carrying/can easily replace it, drop the torch down the pit. maybe it's not as deep as it looks, or maybe there's a way down.
16th Dec 2019, 6:41 PM
Portal In Time
If we've been playing Magic Mustachio 64, maybe we could try backwards-long-jumping our way past the geometry of the door? (Mostly a joke, but it's worth a shot to see if there are exploits in the borrowed physics!)

If not, did Magic Mustacio have dating sim elements? Maybe we could try that out...
16th Dec 2019, 6:50 PM
First, look around, do everything we can think of to try safely.

Then, see if we can save&quit. Does crush souls have lockpicking? If so, play that tonight, and bring a bobby pin with us next time, in the hope that we start back here if we do find a way to save&quit.
16th Dec 2019, 6:50 PM
First, look around, do everything we can think of to try safely.

Then, see if we can save&quit. Does crush souls have lockpicking? If so, play that tonight, and bring a bobby pin with us next time, in the hope that we start back here if we do find a way to save&quit.
16th Dec 2019, 7:06 PM
Important question: are the door’s hinges on THIS side? If so, we don’t even need to bother with the lock. All we need to do is bash the pins out of the hinges (with our shield, perhaps) and take off the whole door XD
16th Dec 2019, 8:29 PM
are the hinges on our side of the door? if so, try to lever the pins out and open the door that way. Locks are for honest people, videogame protagonists, and... actually "suckers" is the only other thing that comes to mind.

.... what does this door look like anyway? another option might be to shim it open with the sword if it comes down to it.
16th Dec 2019, 8:44 PM
In the event that we are unable to get through the door, I suggest we wait to see if the monster loses interest. If not, we should lower ourselves into the pit, as carefully as possible.
16th Dec 2019, 11:49 PM

And even if we fall to our death, assuming the copy arrives at the place where you died, it might be inside the actual pit so... ^_^
16th Dec 2019, 9:38 PM
It has a keyhole. Look thorough it. Assess post jump self, especially leg, and if the house key doesn't work fully unwrap the knife and check that the other end isn't key-shaped.
17th Dec 2019, 5:29 AM
Does Magic Mustachio have a "wall slide mechanic"?

If it does then that might be our only option if we try every simple option above first and the door doesn't open. I'd rather walk through the door then slide down into dark places unknown.

Edit: probably do a slide test on the wall with the door before sliding into the death abyss.
17th Dec 2019, 8:39 AM
We fucked up
Is that a big, old fashioned keyhole? Try picking it with knife then. I did that once, got my ass kicked tho.
17th Dec 2019, 9:46 AM
The locked door may feel like a negative, but at least Plaire is (probably) in a safer position than before.

Now, before (or while) Plaire takes her next action, please keep an eye on Mr. Mace-Worm. Is it staying still and watching Plaire? Retreating for more available prey? Is it making any unusual motions that indicate it hasn't lost interest?
17th Dec 2019, 9:57 AM
Wait, if Magic Mustachio has wall jumping... would it be possible for us to just... slowly, safely, slide down the wall into the pit? (Test this on non-pit walls first, we don't want to mess that up.) If it's too far down, we could wall jump back up.
17th Dec 2019, 4:54 PM
Caution: Mustachio loses a life when he drops below a certain height in 'bottomless' pits, regardless speed.
Not the most interesting way to go out, and will leave a clone right at the ledge to kick us down the pit next time around.
17th Dec 2019, 11:54 AM
If we had a hair pin we might pick the lock, but neither of the games we've played so far have lockpicking mechanics.
17th Dec 2019, 5:01 PM
If there's anything akin to Smash Bros. in Plaire's game library, we'll have to give it a try one of these days.
Damage should translate from actual trauma to that weird nonlinear knockback multiplier, which isn't really a problem in a closed space (worst case, Plaire turns into a superball and bounce-slams around the corridors uncontrollably).

Just don't select Metaknight or the clone will be a complete nightmare to deal with.