24th Jun 2020, 12:49 AM
Go sewer surfin'

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Go sewer surfin'
While staring at the ceiling, you heave a deep sigh.

You also think about that treasure chest.

The one in the vent room.

Behind the sometimes cracked door.

"...I have an idea," you suddenly declare. You sit up and scramble for the door, with Cici following.

You stop in the hallway. You glance one way, then to the stairs, before pointing toward the formerly cracked door. "Do me a favor--stay near that door, keep tabs on it. If a monster chest comes rampaging out of there, blast the shit out of it."

"Can do!," says Cici, attempting to salute with one of her wings before she flutters off toward the door in question.

You head downstairs, back to B1, and the hall that filled with poisonous gas when you came through with Kate last night.

You hustle toward the floor switch just outside the west door

you take a big breath

and you stomp the switch.

Immediately, the hallway begins to flood with green fumes, just like it did last night.

You run back to the stairs, rapidly ascending to the first floor and out of the toxic airspace.

"Plaire!," Cici yells from down the hall. "Something tried to break out for a second, but I think it gave up."

Indeed, the door that was cracked last night--but not tonight--is now visibly cracked. As far as you can tell, it's damaged in exactly the same way... as though the mimic, upon being exposed to poisonous gas, attempted to face slam its way out the door before succumbing to its status effect.

You step up and, after a small pause to steel yourself for the worst,

you open the cracked door.

Behind it is no chest at all; only a vent spewing poisonous gas where the chest once sat, and a small key on the floor right in front of you.

You pick up the key--

and to your... slight surprise, it looks identical to your house key.

"Fuckin' SCORE!," you announce, pumping your fists into the air. "Keys open chests, fake chests drop keys. I KNEW there had to be another way to get one. Suck it, dungeon."

"Pffft." Cici takes a moment to stifle her giggling, but it does not affect your swagger back into the hall.

AND, because of the gas trap setup, you can basically farm one (1) free key every night this way. You do ponder, briefly, if the mimic isn't meant to stay on the vent after becoming poisoned--because then when it vanishes, the key would just drop into the vent, disappearing entirely unless the mimic is beaten 'properly.' ...But whoever set all this up didn't account for the mimic reacting to the poison by trying to escape?


Maybe you're overthinking it.

The time has come to stop overthinking it. "We beat a boss, we solved a puzzle... sort of. We found an easy way to get an extra key. Let's do something stupid."

"Heck yeah!," Cici replies. "We gotta."

You return to the barrel room, and dump all the yellow drink out of one of the barrels before resealing it as thoroughly as you can.

You carry it to the flooded maintenance tunnel, which you unlocked before you fought Father Warden. Even empty, the barrel is still pretty heavy, and hauling it and your polearm at the same time's a little awkward. Cici still has the toolbox, though, and--

"Oh, duh," you blurt out, dropping the barrel at the top of the damp maintenance tunnel stairs. "Should we put the toolbox in the barrel? ...Would that fuck up the buoyancy? I feel like if you have to carry it you're gonna have trouble keeping up--"

"Yeah," Cici agrees, "dunno if that'd be too much weight or not. We could try it!"

After some finagling, you put the toolbox inside the barrel, then get the barrel down the stairs...

and into the rushing river of sewage.

"Let's gooo!," Cici shouts excitedly.

You step aboard as the barrel begins to drift down the tunnel. Cici hops onto the back of the barrel, holding her wings out and occasionally flapping to try and keep it steady.

You discover quickly that you can use your halberd to steer a bit, pushing off the walls to maneuver you side to side.

You also discover quickly that balancing on a moving barrel is a fucking task, and the flow of the ooze is accelerating you rapidly. You can slow down a smidge by sort of tilting your barrel to an angle, but if you turn it too much it starts to roll, Cici has difficulty getting a solid enough grip to prevent that entirely and one good roll would probably dump you into the water.

(Water in quotation marks. It may have a slightly different consistency here than it did in your starting room, but it's still so opaque you can scarcely begin to see through its surface, and you still sure as hell wouldn't drink it.)

It's difficult, but not impossible.

...Until you hit the first curve.

"Oh, fuck," you mutter.

Cici does you one better. "Ohhh shiiiIIIIIIT!"

The tunnel dips.


The water rushes harder over and around large chunks of debris scattered about the middle of the tunnel.

It never really stops curving, never turns back into a straight angle--but it does branch off into two or three different pathways, all leading straight ahead into the darkness. At this point, Cici's single eye is acting as your headlight. Tail light?

Cici begins to take a more active role in driving the barrel.

"HOLY FUCK!," you shout as you lose almost any semblance of control. You shove your polearm out toward stone chunks as you pass them--not even trying to push yourself anywhere, just trying to get some friction and slow the fuck down. Your feet, likewise, are no longer as focused on steering as they are staying the fuck on.

It takes you a good several seconds to, with the help of Cici and her ridiculous bird strength, get shit back under control. You're fortunate that you don't crash straight into a wall or a random slab of brickwork or a pipe or whatever the fuck else is sticking out of the water and the tunnel

just keeps going.



Turning ever so slightly downward, just enough to keep




"Plaaaire," Cici yells, "I'm startin' to think this was a bad idea!"

"Starting to?!," you shout back through a manic giggle, "I regretted this decision as soon as we hit that fucking CORNER!"

You can barely hear each other over the sound of the rushing rapids. You have lost all sense of direction; you have not the slightest idea which paths you should be taking or where in the name of God this network of flooded tunnels is taking you. You feel like you are almost definitely going to die.

...And yet, the knowledge that you explicitly won't die turns the entire affair from the most frightening experience of your life to a maddening rollercoaster. Before you know it, both you and Cici are half screaming, half cackling manically. It is pitch fucking black except for Cici's forward facing glow.

Your screaming takes a dramatic and abrupt change in pitch when you hear what sounds like a giant shotgun going off behind you.

"OH DAMN, WHAT IS THAT?!" Cici releases the barrel, just briefly enough to spin around and unleash a barrage of arrows.

In the golden light cast by Cici's attack, it's easy to see what has emerged from the depths below.

For how clumsy they are on land, the chain cocoon snake monsters are apparently masterful fucking swimmers. You hear the creature screech as Cici's arrows find their way into its mouth, the water loudly sloshing about as the bastard thrashes.

You shove your halberd out, and Cici grabs it in her talons; you pull her back to your side just in time to hear the sound of jaws slamming shut behind you. You throw a glance back, and catch in your peripheral the chain monster dipping back under the sludge.

... There's a moment of relative quiet

but you can see the massive shadow under the surface steadily catching up, the creature swimming its way to beneath your barrel. You're not sure how much tunnel you have left to go--

"Plaire!," Cici yells, flapping back to the rear end of your barrel to help you steer. "That thing's gonna shark movie our asses if we don't do something!"

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Rate this comic:

average rating: 5

24th Jun 2020, 1:00 AM
We should pull a Goku and use the fireball to propel us forward.

Either that or stab straight down
to deter the threat.
24th Jun 2020, 1:13 AM
Lunar Waffles
might have to hug the barrel for the fireball jet not to knock Plaire into the "river" but yeah, +1 if hugging is involved....though how to do that with the pike is a question
24th Jun 2020, 9:19 PM
Have cici grab the pike.
24th Jun 2020, 1:21 AM
I like the Goku, but let's see if we can make it count - either shoot our chain shark monster with the fireball, or use it to dodge when the chainshark comes up under us.

I don't think stabbing the chainshark will be a good idea - even if we get a good hit, we'll probably snag the blade between the chain links, unless we can see that the mouth is open when we stab.
24th Jun 2020, 1:54 AM
I give a +1 to these ideas.
24th Jun 2020, 2:10 AM
+1 to pulling a Goku, especially if we can angle the shot to make it so we can push away from the monster while shooting at it. Best if we can shoot into its mouth!
24th Jun 2020, 2:35 AM
If we are gonna propel with the fireball then we can stab our halberd into the barrel so we can hold on and not shoot off.
24th Jun 2020, 3:57 AM
24th Jun 2020, 5:37 AM
EDIT: stabbing the halberd into the barrel does not solve the barrel rolling upside down issue, but might solve the fireball kickback issue.
24th Jun 2020, 9:21 AM
+1 to stabbing the barrel because it does solve the 'kickback from casting fireball throwing us off the barrel' issue. >_>

Just have Cici ready to flap against the spin to counter the rotation.
24th Jun 2020, 1:06 PM
Let's go with that, although, right after spending half a second trying to remember if some Drillga moveset would help this particular situation.
24th Jun 2020, 5:51 PM
+1 Use Drillga powers to dig out of this area if Plaire is about to die
24th Jun 2020, 1:14 AM
Portal In Time
This was an AMAZING IDEA
Now let's see if we can just SAVE AND QUIT

instead of our usual fade-or-die!
24th Jun 2020, 1:38 AM
Abandon ship! We'll lose the toolbox, but I think that's inevitable at this point because the barrel is about to be smashed by the chain monster. Only way to avoid going under and possibly dying is to get off the barrel. Have Cici grab Plaire by the arm and start carrying her.
24th Jun 2020, 1:46 AM
Lunar Waffles
that went poorly when they tested in the hallways remember? and now they have a raging "river" with a chain monster after them! so~ -1 for me
24th Jun 2020, 5:38 AM
The only attack that might stop the monster is a fireball?
24th Jun 2020, 7:38 AM
Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into.

Ask Cici for an idea, quick.

Remember, Cici is animal control. Dealing with dangerous animals was not just her job, but something she was built for.

If her idea is "I lure it down some other path so it doesn't hurt you," veto it. Not that Player can stop her...
24th Jun 2020, 9:53 AM
+1 Ask Cici she is animal control. I'm not confident she has any ideas though she would have already said.
24th Jun 2020, 10:06 AM
+1 ask Cici

Also we have Kate's powers and Kate could fly. Even limited flight would be handy if abandoning barrel is needed.
24th Jun 2020, 11:16 AM
+1 try to fly with Kate's powers
24th Jun 2020, 10:22 AM
24th Jun 2020, 12:06 PM
24th Jun 2020, 12:41 PM
Ask Cici, if she doesn't know now then have her fly us up and fireball the thing when it jumps. Worse case we can ride the river holding Cici and using her shield against rocks.
24th Jun 2020, 9:07 AM
Have Cici make a shield, and hope that's enough for us to float on. I like the fireball idea; let's use that to get some distance from the creature and then shield surf!
24th Jun 2020, 2:14 PM
+1 yess! surf on a Cici shield! I think we should wait until it's about to bite, then dismount and light the barrel on fire as the chain dude eats it.
24th Jun 2020, 5:50 PM
Don't light the barrel, just feed the monster a fireball.

Yes to using Cici's shield
24th Jun 2020, 10:22 AM
Just a bit of late musing, but I am concerned that defeating a representation of someone in the dream might have lasting waking world consequences. I suppose few tears would be shed for Plaire's dad, though.
24th Jun 2020, 1:11 PM
She defeated one of her inner demons, pulled out of her head and concretised by whatever force generates this entire dreamscape (and possibly also makes her house invulnerable).
There's a good chance the real person was left entirely unaffected.
24th Jun 2020, 12:56 PM
Oh. I had assumed we'd be *inside* the barrel with the top open, so we wouldn't have to worry about keeping our balance on it. Might've gotten a bit wetter, but it would have given us a lot more stability.

Well anyway. If we're going to use a fireball to attack the chain monster and/or for a speed boost, we should get down on top of the barrel and hug it tightly so we don't rocket ourselves right off it. And we might want to use it for speed instead of an attack since it seems the chain monster might be aiming to come up under the barrel.
24th Jun 2020, 1:00 PM
Oh, also we should keep an eye out for an exit or an embankment, something that would let us get off the ride and buy the souvenir photograph.
24th Jun 2020, 1:15 PM
I also pictured that kind of barreling down the sewage sludge.
Good thing is, we can still convert the current barrel-surfing into this other, possibly less radical, mode of transportation.
Although doing it without getting dirty at full speed will be about impossible, probably.
24th Jun 2020, 1:21 PM
why not stab to polearm in to the barrel. use the polearm as a support to fireball or something?